Redefining Love

It’s funny as you grow older and experience more life–both the good and the bad–how your definition of love changes. I love my family, husband and stepson included, but the love I have received from them in the past week alone has rocked my world entirely.

When I was a little girl and thought of getting married, I thought of my husband bringing my flowers and slow dancing with me and taking me to fancy dinners. Or writing beautiful love poems and letters that I would awake to on my pillow in the morning. That if my sister and my parents loved me it meant they would take me on fun vacations or buy me the best toys, or let me go first when it was time to play restaurant at Clark Manor, leaving Lindsey without lunch every single time because I got bored when her turn came around.

I still get the presents. And the slow dances. And my god, my house is bursting with flowers right now. But love, the love of a family, the love of a husband, is something much deeper than that. Love is waking up every 2 hours to make sure I’ve gotten my pain medication and convincing me that come hell or high water, we’re getting through this together. Love is holding a cold rag to my head and whispering it’s going to be okay when I start having a seizure and fainting because all my medicines have made me unable to go to the bathroom for a week. Love is bathing your 35 year old sister, drains hanging from her chest, and shaving the one arm pit without stitches in it for her to have some sense of regularity even though the other one looks like Harry and the Hendersons. It’s making the fifth trip to Giant of day because I’ve run out of lemon and lime seltzer water which is for some reason the only thing outside of cantaloupe that has any appeal to me. It’s the tens and tens of emails I’ve gotten from people I haven’t spoken to in years, some I’ve never met, sending me their prayers and thoughts.

I can not express in words how blessed I am to know this type of love. To those who have reached out, and especially to my dearest dearest family who I could not do this without, thank you. Because of you I am reminded every day what love really is.


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