Step 1: Done and Done

Tim keeps reminding me this is a three step process. The first was the mastectomy. Second treatment. And then third reconstruction. And I’ve made it through the first step! I cannot express how smoothly everything went. I was scared shitless to be quite frank but everyone was so accommodating and I honestly don’t remember anything after the anesthesiologist came in and started talking to me. Then after a very deep sleep, I woke up and it was all done.

There was one point the first night that I was in pretty bad pain. The morphine machine wasn’t working quite right but everyone scrambled and got me set up pretty quickly. I was high as a kite though. I think I was in complete ecstasy eating cantaloupe. I’m sure Tim and my family have some pretty funny stories of my reactions. But overall, it was such a great experience and I can’t say enough good things about Dr. Sebastian and Dr. Bedri and just the entire staff at the Virginia Hospital Center. I don’t know that they have yelp reviews for hospitals but I’d be all over that if there was.

I think the scariest thing about this whole process has been the unknown. When I woke up, I found out that they had indeed found a small trace of cancer cells in one of the four lymph nodes* they removed meaning chemo was now a must. But even then, I felt knowing that right away was a blessing. I can deal with anything as long as I know what to expect. I was so relieved that I don’t have to wait several weeks to get test results back. And in the best Christmas present in the history of Christmas presents, Dr. Bedri was able to save my nipple. In my drug induced state, I may have told everyone within ear shot of me this, but i was pretty excited.

I got a peek of it. It’s a collapsed version of my boob but not nearly as  scary as I thought it would be. I just feel so overwhelming blessed. I woke up in what looked like a floral shop. I had friends drop by and visit me. Tim worked around the clock all night making sure I was comfortable. I know I am going to bitch again and complain about some stupid first world problems. But I have no reason too. I am really the luckiest and most blessed human being on the planet.

I want to keep writing, there’s so much more I want to tell about my experience, to share with others that may have this in their future, but I am exhausted. I am trying to do just tylenol but I think another pain med may be in order. Day by day. My highlight for today will finally be getting a shower. It’s the little things, right? 🙂

*That was the original report. The final one showed that actually 7 nodes were removed, two had tumors of .3 and .8 cm and one more had scattered cancer cells but no tumor. It was also confirmed as stage 2 cancer.

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